Tarot … Saturday?

Felt the need to do a “self-check” because I’ve been a little down, a little low energy, with a little more pain than usual. I came to my blog to see if rereading some old posts would shift my energy a bit. This led me back to my old favorite site, the Osho Zen Tarot.  I found this card, Healing which seemed to speak to me today.

zen028HealingHere’s the description and commentary :

You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything.
You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? – because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy.
Be aware of your wound. Don’t help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.
Just for twenty-four hours, try it – total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; don’t react, and see what happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have not felt before.  (Osho The Empty Boat Chapter 10)
It is a time when the deeply buried wounds of the past are coming to the surface, ready and available to be healed.
The figure in this card is naked, vulnerable, open to the loving touch of existence. The aura around his body is full of light, and the quality of relaxation, caring and love that surrounds him is dissolving his struggle and suffering. Lotuses of light appear on his physical body, and around the subtle energy bodies that healers say surround each of us. In each of these subtle layers appears a healing crystal or pattern.
When we are under the healing influence of the King of Water we are no longer hiding from ourselves or others. In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole.

Just Another Tarot Tuesday

Joyful Participation in the Sorrows of the World

Wow! The tarot does it again. I’ve been very closeted and cocooned the past months (as you can see from the lack of blog posts). Not depressed, but detached, floating a little, extremely internal in my focus.

Today I made the choice to try opening more to my own experience, and letting in connection and engagement. “Easy,” I thought. “I’ll just start with a Tarot Tuesday. No sweat, a simple way to reconnect….” Yeah, right.

Participation is the card I drew, first shot. That’s telling me. This is a beautiful card, with a great deal of power imbued in the graphic of the double dorje. The directness of the commentary appeals to me, and the sense of focus and intensity of the card itself. It doesn’t just speak of participation, it launches you into it, willy-nilly….

From the Osho Zen Tarot:
Have you ever seen night going? Very few people even become aware of things which are happening every day. Have you ever seen the evening coming? The midnight and its song? The sunrise and its beauty?
We are behaving almost like blind people. In such a beautiful world we are living in small ponds of our own misery. It is familiar, so even if somebody wants to pull you out, you struggle. You don’t want to be pulled out of your misery, of your suffering. Otherwise there is so much joy all around, you have just to be aware of it and to become a participant, not a spectator.aaa

 Philosophy is speculation, Zen is participation. Participate in the night leaving, participate in the evening coming, participate in the stars and participate in the clouds; make participation your lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. You could not have dreamed of a better universe.   •  Osho Zen: The Miracle Chapter 2
Each figure in this mandala holds the left hand up, in an attitude of receiving, and the right hand down, in an attitude of giving. The whole circle creates a tremendous energy field that takes on the shape of the double dorje, the Tibetan symbol for the thunderbolt.
The mandala has a quality like that of the energy field that forms around a buddha, where all the individuals taking part in the circle make a unique contribution to create a unified and vital whole. It is like a flower, whose wholeness is even more beautiful than the sum of its parts, at the same time enhancing the beauty of each individual petal.
You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make your contribution to creating something greater and more beautiful than each of you could manage alone. Your participation will not only nourish you, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.

Tired Tuesday Tarot

Car problems!

The very phrase strikes terror in my heart. I hate car problems. Despise, abhor, abominate, detest, and a zillion other thesaurus entries.  Hate, hate, hate!  I mean, seriously, are we clear on this?

Yet, none of us who drive are immune to them.

And — my car is still actually running. I will be able to drive it to the car place in the morning. I will be able to sit in comfort while they look at it, or avail myself of their lovely shuttle service home. I even have the funds to pay for almost any repair (and boy do I send up a prayer in gratitude for that fact)!

Still, the thought of repairs drags me down, makes me want a long nap. Makes me want to sleep through the snooze bar and ignore the whole world. Too many years of NOT being able to pay for a big repair…. of waiting around greasy, smelly too hot, too cold hard chaired, or no chaired, repair shops.

And, remember when sitting at the mechanic’s meant you were out of touch? I have the choice of my Kindle, my cellphone, my netbook, my knitting… you get the picture. They have complimentary coffee and varied snack machines. Wireless, for Pete’s sake. I need to do some serious attitude adjustment about this. But in the mean time, the entire mess just makes me exhausted.

From the Osho Zen Tarot website on “Exhaustion”:


A man who lives through conscience becomes hard. A man who lives through
consciousness remains soft. Why?–because a man who has some ideas about how to
live, naturally becomes hard. He has continuously to carry his character around
himself. That character is like an armor; his protection, his security; his
whole life is invested in that character. And he always reacts to situations
through the character, not directly. If you ask him a question, his answer is
ready-made. That is the sign of a hard person–he is dull, stupid, mechanical.
He may be a good computer, but he is not a man. You do something and he reacts
in a well- established way. His reaction is predictable; he is a robot. The real
man acts spontaneously. If you ask him a question, your question gets a
response, not a reaction. He opens his heart to your question, exposes himself
to your question, responds to it….
Osho Take it Easy, Volume 1 Chapter 13
This is the portrait of one whose whole life energy has been depleted in his
efforts to keep fueling the enormous and ridiculous machine of self-importance
and productivity. He has been so busy “keeping it all together” and “making sure
everything runs smoothly”, that he has forgotten to really rest. No doubt he
can’t allow himself to be playful. To abandon his duty for a trip to the beach
could mean the whole structure might come tumbling down. The message of this
card is not just about being a workaholic, though. It is about all the ways in
which we set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and, by doing so, keep
the chaotic and spontaneous away from our doors. Life isn’t a business to be
managed, it’s a mystery to be lived. It’s time to tear up the time-card, break
out of the factory, and take a little trip into the uncharted. Your work can
flow more smoothly from a relaxed state of mind.

Tarot Tuesday: Possibilities

I actually think I drew this card once before… it’s possible (sorry — couldn’t resist).

It’s also incredibly appropriate for my life right now. Though I feel a bit more like the eagle’s potential prey: frozen in place.

What a view. What a multitude of fields and peaks, hidden valleys and coves. Sunrise or Sunset? So many choices. So much potential.

I’ve thought a lot about the experience of excitement, and it’s close connection with the experience of fear. It’s mostly how we choose to interpret our bodies’ signals. My heart pounds, my palms sweat, my breath comes faster and rougher. Am I scared or excited? One feels so bad, one so good….

Here is a choice point in all the possibilities. I can choose which feelings I put more energy into. I can feed one possibility above others, and increase the chances of that one coming to fruition. Do I want to feed the fear?   No! 

So I slow my breathing, center and ground myself, and open to the other feelings available to me. Ah, there it is, a squiggle of excitement, a snippet of joy, a sigh of bliss…. all available, all different possible futures.  What will I pick?

From the Osho Zen Tarot:
Mind can accept any boundary anywhere. But the reality is that, by its very nature, existence cannot have any boundary, because what will be beyond the boundary? – again another sky.

That’s why I am saying skies upon skies are available for your flight. Don’t be content easily. Those who remain content easily remain small: small are their joys, small are their ecstasies, small are their silences, small is their being. But there is no need! This smallness is your own imposition upon your freedom, upon your unlimited possibilities, upon your unlimited potential.

Osho Live Zen Chapter 2
The eagle has an overview of all the possibilities contained in the landscape below, as he flies freely, naturally and effortlessly through the sky. He is really in his domain, very grand and self-contained.

This card indicates that you are at a point where a world of possibilities is open to you. Because you have grown more loving towards yourself, more self-contained, you can work easily with others. Because you are relaxed and at ease, you can recognize possibilities as they present themselves, sometimes even before others can see them. Because you are in tune with your own nature, you understand that existence is providing you with exactly what you need.

Enjoy the flight! And celebrate all the varied wonders of the landscape spread before you.

It’s Tarot Tuesday Once Again!

Clinging to the Past

Well, that will learn me! I haven’t been back to my blog site in a month, and thought, “how lovely, I can re-enter easily by drawing a tarot card at the Osho Zen Tarot  site!” So what do I draw, this:  Yuck!  I don’t like it at all.  Which is probably just why I needed to have it pop up for me. 

One big question that runs around in my mind is, what’s the difference between remembering and clinging? If I think about people and events gone by, and I have good or bad feelings in this moment because of my thoughts, is that clinging to the past? 

Maybe it’s about recognizing that it’s my thoughts in the here and now about the past that are causing the feelings I have. I’m having the feelings right now, after all.  But, feelings slip away after being felt, and new ones, and new thoughts and sights and sounds take their place.

There’s where my opportunity to cling or release comes. I thought my thought, remembered my memory, felt my feeling… now, what’s next?

Struggling to bring my blog into my present is what’s in front of me at the moment.  This wonderful on-line journal has served me so well!  I hope it’s been even half the pleasure for y’all as it has for me.  I’m not closing up shop — but rather dusting things off, ready for a new season of sharing. 

So, thanks for the memories yet made, and the thoughts and feelings not yet experienced — future, here we come.


From the Zen Osho Tarot commentaries:

These tenses–past, present and future–are not the tenses of time; they are tenses of the mind. That which is no longer before the mind becomes the past. That which is before the mind is the present. And that which is going to be before the mind is the future. Past is that which is no longer before you. Future is that which is not yet before you. And present is that which is before you and is slipping out of your sight. Soon it will be past…. If you don’t cling to the past…because clinging to the past is absolute stupidity. It is no longer there, so you are crying for spilled milk. What is gone is gone! And don’t cling to the present because that is also going and soon it will be past. Don’t cling to the future–hopes, imaginations, plans for tomorrow–because tomorrow will become today, will become yesterday. Everything is going to become yesterday. Everything is going to go out of your hands. Clinging will simply create misery. You will have to let go.

Osho The Great Zen Master Ta Hui Chapter 10


The figure pictured in this card is so preoccupied with clutching her box of memories that she has turned her back on the sparkling champagne glass of blessings available here and now. Her nostalgia for the past really makes her a ‘blockhead’, and a beggar besides, as we can see from her patched and ragged clothes. She needn’t be a beggar, of course–but she is not available to taste the pleasures that offer themselves in the present. It’s time to face up to the fact that the past is gone, and any effort to repeat it is a sure way to stay stuck in old blueprints that you would have already outgrown if you hadn’t been so busy clinging to what you have already been through. Take a deep breath, put the box down, tie it up in a pretty ribbon if you must, and bid it a fond and reverent farewell. Life is passing you by, and you’re in danger of becoming an old fossil before your time!

Scattered like the Leaves…

I’ve been seriously scattered in my energy and attention recently. So many changes. Like the weather and seasons, the paces of my life keep shifting on me.

My attention wants to turn inward right now, but the demands of daily life prevent that focus from happening as I need. So I stay scattered. My attention lighting on one activity and desire after another.

I wondered if the Tarot had any wisdom to offer, so I went to my favorite Osho Zen Tarot site.  And it didn’t let me down.  I guess.

“Trust” is a challenging concept for this situation. I want to deal with such an array of issues, that I can’t settle.

So to what am I to trust? Trust life? I’m not sure what that means for me right now.

Am I ready to take such a plunge — into change, into what’s next? I suppose I’ll see….

Don’t waste your life for that which is going to be taken away. Trust life. If you trust, only then can you drop your knowledge, only then can you put your mind aside. And with trust, something immense opens up. Then this life is no longer ordinary life, it becomes full of God, overflowing.

When the heart is innocent and the walls have disappeared, you are bridged with infinity. And you are not deceived; there is nothing that can be taken away from you. That which can be taken away from you is not worth keeping, and that which cannot be taken away from you… why should one be afraid of its being taken away? It cannot be taken away, there is no possibility. You cannot lose your real treasure.

(from Osho The Sun Rises in the Evening Chapter 9)
Now is the moment to be a bungee jumper without the cord! And it is this quality of absolute trust, with no reservations or secret safety nets, that the Knight of Water demands from us.

There is a tremendous sense of exhilaration if we can take the jump and move into the unknown, even if the idea scares us to death. And when we take trust to the level of the quantum leap, we don’t make any elaborate plans or preparations. We don’t say, “Okay, I trust that I know what to do now, and I’ll settle my things and pack my suitcase and take it with me.” No, we just jump, with hardly a thought for what happens next. The leap is the thing, and the thrill of it as we free-fall through the empty sky.

The card gives a hint here, though, about what waits for us at the other end – a soft, welcoming, yummy pink, rose petals, juicy…c’mon!

Just Keeping On

Sometimes, “Moment to Moment” is the only way to keep going. Regardless of mood, of experience, of good or bad, just doing it is sometimes all you can manage.

But look! Our intrepid figure to the left doesn’t just keep moving, he does it with grace and poise.

How? When it so often seems that obstacles and obstructions are the rule of the day. “When if it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.”

How? He lives in the moment. Each foot is delicately but firmly placed because his attention doesn’t waver. He’s not dwelling on the past, or anticipating the future. He’s planted in the present moment. Look! It’s gone….but here it is again.

The great Ram Dass (aka Dr. Richard Alpert) wrote Be Here Now back in the early 1970s and his gentle, good-natured chiding still is Truth — with an intentional capital “T” — That’s all there IS. We imagine, we attach, we linger, we avoid, but we can only experience being here now.

When we are present in the moment, the moments flow, each to the next, in harmony and discovery, and yes, joy.

From the Osho Zen Tarot:

The past is no more and the future is not yet: both are unnecessarily moving in directions which don’t exist. One used to exist, but no longer exists, and one has not even started to exist. The only right person is one who lives moment to moment, whose arrow is directed to the moment, who is always here and now; wherever he is, his whole consciousness, his whole being, is involved in the reality of here and in the reality of now. That’s the only right direction. Only such a man can enter into the golden gate. The present is the golden gate. Here-now is the golden gate. …And you can be in the present only if you are not ambitious–no accomplishment, no desire to achieve power, money, prestige, even enlightenment, because all ambition leads you into the future. Only a non-ambitious man can remain in the present. A man who wants to be in the present has not to think, has just to see and enter the gate. Experience will come, but experience has not to be premeditated.
       aaaaaaa                      Osho The Great Zen Master Ta Hui Chapter 37
Commentary: As this figure moves across the stones, he steps lightly and non-seriously, and at the same time absolutely balanced and alert. Behind the swirling, ever-changing waters we can see the shapes of buildings; there appears to be a city in the background. The man is in the marketplace but at the same time outside of it, maintaining his balance and able to watch it from above. This card challenges us to move away from our preoccupations with other spaces and other times, and stay alert to what is happening in the here and now. Life is a great ocean in which you can play if you drop all your judgments, your preferences and the attachment to the details of your long-term plans. Be available to what comes your way, as it comes. And don’t worry if you stumble or fall; just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, have a good laugh, and carry on.

It’s a Tarot Tuesday

Ah yes, Integration. One of the big “I-words” to me. Along with Inner balance, Intention, and Integrity.

I know there are other biggies like these, since we all seem to yearn for the intuition to recognize true inspiration so we can issue an invitation to a more imaginative life.

Bringing it altogether is what this card is all about. I’ll let the Zen Master Osho describe it for me today:

 The conflict is in man. Unless it is resolved there, it cannot be resolved anywhere else. The politics is within you; it is between the two parts of the mind. A very small bridge exists. If that bridge is broken through some accident, through some physiological defect or something else, the person becomes split, the person becomes two persons and the phenomenon of schizophrenia or split personality happens.
If the bridge is broken – and the bridge is very fragile – then you become two, you behave like two persons. In the morning you are very loving, very beautiful; in the evening you are very angry, absolutely different. You don’t remember your morning…how can you remember? Another mind was functioning – and the person becomes two persons. If this bridge is strengthened so much that the two minds disappear as two and become one, then integration, then crystallization, arises.
What George Gurdjieff used to call the crystallization of being is nothing but these two minds becoming one, the meeting of the male and the female within, the meeting of yin and yang, the meeting of the left and right, the meeting of logic and illogic, the meeting of Plato and Aristotle.
 aaa                               Osho Ancient Music in the Pines Chapter 1
The image of integration is the unio mystica, the fusion of opposites. This is a time of communication between the previously experienced dualities of life. Rather than night opposing day, dark suppressing light, they work together to create a unified whole, turning endlessly one into the other, each containing in its deepest core the seed of the opposite.
The eagle and the swan are both beings of flight and majesty. The eagle is the embodiment of power and aloneness. The swan is the embodiment of space and purity, gently floating and diving, upon and within the element of the emotions, entirely content and complete within her perfection and beauty.
We are the union of eagle and swan: male and female, fire and water, life and death. The card of integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life, and mystical union; otherwise known as alchemy.

Enough is Enough

Past Lives

This morning I drew the Osho Zen Tarot “Card for Today” and found myself facing Past Lives.

My first reaction was “yuck!” The visual didn’t attract me nor did the commentary. Then I thought more, and realized the my reaction is partly fear-based. The idea of so much flooding in — all the thoughts and emotions of other selves, other times — seems overwhelming and a little dreadful. 

This life is really enough: enough to manage, enough to savor, enough to learn from. “Enough is enough!” my mother would holler when my sister and I misbehaved sufficiently.

“Enough is enough!” I would complain when life got burdened and messy.  “Enough is enough!” when the bills piled in, the bad events multiplied, and the stress and sorrows climbed.

But, do I ever exclaim, “Enough is enough!” when it’s too much good?  Of course not!

It seems ridiculous to fend off the influx of happiness, health, wealth, love, and joy. Friendships can abound, vitality can burst out, laughter can ring through the house in immoderate hilarity… with no complaint in sight from me.

I face the hard times, the difficult events, the pains and losses of life because I must. Sometimes I wish I could call a halt. I can’t, of course, unless I call a halt to the good, too. 

But of all that sweetness, that  joy and beauty, there’s never too much, but always just enough.  And just enough, is all we need.

Here’s Osho’s wisdom on Past Lives and their meaning for us:

The child can become conscious only if in his past life he has meditated enough, has created enough meditative energy to fight with the darkness that death brings. One simply is lost in an oblivion and then suddenly finds a new womb and forgets completely about the old body. There is a discontinuity. This darkness, this unconsciousness creates the discontinuity.
The East has been working hard to penetrate these barriers. And ten thousand years’ work has not been in vain. Everybody can penetrate to the past life, or many past lives. But for that you have to go deeper into your meditation, for two reasons: unless you go deeper, you cannot find the door to another life; secondly, you have to be deeper in meditation because if you find the door of another life, a flood of events will come into the mind. It is hard enough even to carry one life….
aaa                                    Osho Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen Chapter 7
Commentary:  The hands of existence form the shape of the female genitals, the opening of the cosmic mother. Revealed within are many images, faces from other times.
While it might be entertaining to fantasize about famous past lives, it is just a distraction. The real point is to see and understand the karmic patterns of our lives, and their roots in an endless repetitive cycle that traps us in unconscious behavior.
The two rainbow lizards on either side represent knowing and not-knowing. They are the guardians of the unconscious, making sure that we are prepared for a vision that might otherwise be shattering.
A glimpse into the eternity of our existence is a gift, and understanding the function of karma in our lives is not something that can be grasped at will. This is a wake-up call; the events in your life are trying to show you a pattern as ancient as the journey of your own soul.

Sitting with my Feelings

The Outsider

I’ve had the sensation lately of being out of balance, off-kilter, or out of synch. It’s uncomfortable, and my inclination is to seek — as quickly as possible — to get back to a place of balance and comfort.

Sometimes, though, it’s not possible to do so. Sometimes, the right action is to sit with the discomfort, let it ride itself out, and see where things end up. Since I’m still in the middle of the ride, I don’t know where I’ll end up, but I have to trust that everything will be okay.

The Outsider portrays my feelings perfectly, and as usual, the Osho Zen Tarot commentary is full of wisdom for us.

So you are feeling yourself an outsider. This is good. This is the transitory period. Now you have to be alert not to fill yourself with pain and misery. Now that God is no longer there, who is going to console you? You don’t need any consolation. Humanity has come of age. Be a man, be a woman, and stand on your own feet…. The only way to be connected with existence is to go inwards, because there at the center you are still connected. You have been disconnected physically from your mother. That disconnection was absolutely necessary to make you an individual in your own right. But you are not disconnected from the universe. Your connection with the universe is of consciousness. You cannot see it, so you have to go deep down with great awareness, watchfulness, witnessing, and you will find the connection. The buddha is the connection!
aa         Osho God is Dead: Now Zen is the Only Living Truth Chapter 3
The small child in this card is standing on one side of a gate, looking through it. He is so small, and so convinced that he cannot get through, he cannot see that the chain holding the gate is not locked; all he has to do is open it. Whenever we feel ‘left out’, or excluded, it brings up this feeling of being a small, helpless child. It is not surprising, as the feeling is deeply rooted in our earliest childhood experiences. The problem is that, because it is so deeply rooted, it plays over and over again, like a tape, in our lives. You have an opportunity now to stop the tape, to quit tormenting yourself with ideas that you are somehow not ‘enough’ to be accepted and included. Recognize the roots of these feelings in the past, and let go of the old pain. It will bring you the clarity to see how you can open the gate and enter that which you most long to become.