I started to say that I am wordless today, but clearly it wasn’t so. It is Dennis’ birthday — he would have been 57.
It’s also the anniversary of the last time I saw him. I brought him a festive goody bag — Pepsi, snacks, tobacco, a new book, some other odds and ends. We visited but he was pretty spacey and depressed.
None of the other residents at the group home had known it was his birthday until I arrived. Then everyone wished him the best and made a friendly fuss over him.
Two weeks later he was dead.
So my own words aren’t enough today. I’m staying busy, and plan to meet friends this evening to toast the best of Dennis’ life and tell stories of the amazing man he was before mental illness struck him down. I am grateful for the harmony I have achieved this year with the help of some amazing support people (you all know who you are, don’t you?).
Here are the words of wisdom and healing from the Osho site about the card I “drew” at random today:
Listen to your heart, move according to your heart, whatsoever the stake: A condition of complete simplicity costing not less than everything…. To be simple is arduous, because to be simple costs everything that you have. You have to lose all to be simple.That’s why people have chosen to be complex and they have forgotten how to be simple. But only a simple heart throbs with God, hand in hand. Only a simple heart sings with God in deep harmony. To reach to that point you will have to find your heart, your own throb, your own beat.
Osho Dang Dang Doko Dang Chapter 3
The experience of resting in the heart in meditation is not something that can be grasped or forced. It comes naturally, as we grow more and more in tune with the rhythms of our own inner silences. The figure on this card reflects the sweetness and delicacy of this experience. The dolphins that emerge from the heart and make an arc towards the third eye reflect the playfulness and intelligence that comes when we are able to connect with the heart and move into the world from there. Let yourself be softer and more receptive now, because an inexpressible joy is waiting for you just around the corner. Nobody else can point it out to you, and when you find it you won’t be able to find the words to express it to others. But it’s there, deep within your heart, ripe and ready to be discovered.
Peace, Love and Harmony to you all – and to you Dennis, always.